UffdaBlack – Adventures in Parenting
A diary of a black man raising kids in a place he never thought he would call home…
Me: (suddenly) Get in the van!
Son: Why?
Me: Team Rocket is invading a Pokestop and we have to stop them.
Son: What? Really?
Me: Do you want to be home alone?! Van! Now!
We stopped them together.
*If you are not playing Pokémon go with your child, you’re missing out!
Buying an additional controller just so you can stay up late with your first born playing Sega Genesis trying to pass Streets of Rage.
Bonus: Finding your oldest up early to trying to beat said game on single-player mode. She’d been playing for 2 hours…
Corrupted.
Which one am I?
What do I do?
Why won’t my guy go?
Which one am I?
What button do I push?
How long does this go for?
You like this?
Which one am I?
I am green right? (No)
This does not work?
I won? No. You won. No I did!
…and she did.
Never again.
1. They are spoiled brats.
2. It is amazing they have friends. If I were their age, I would not be their friend.
3. “Dad! How do you play?!” Seriously! Mash buttons until you get it. How helpless can you get?
4. “This looks funny!” Yeah, well, it was made in 1991. By the way, you look funny!
5. “Dad! Something is wrong!” Yeah it says “press start”.
6. “This cord is too short.” Sit on the damn floor like normal children.
7. It is a two-player game; that just means we take turns playing.
8. It is a two-player game; get out of my space.
9. It is a two-player game; we are not on the same team, we are fighting each other.
10. His name is Yoshi; he is not a horse! No, I don’t know why a dinosaur is in the game!
Tips for many aspects of living
Dating, Poetry, and More
Commentary about those things I find interesting.
UffdaBlack - Adventures in Parenting 